My Neighbor Tried to Seduce My Husband—Here’s What I Did

I thought she was just a friendly neighbor.
Until I saw the way she looked at my husband.

Let the journey begin

It started off like any other peaceful evening. I was in the kitchen, half-tuned into a crime documentary, chopping onions and dreaming of a quiet night. My husband was out front watering the plants, doing his usual slow stroll around our mini jungle like a proud gardener.

Then she arrived.
The neighbor.

You know the type—too friendly, overly smiley, and always “just dropping by” in yoga pants that haven’t seen a gym in years.

“Heyyy, is your wife home?” she asked my husband, tilting her head, twirling her hair, and laughing at a joke he didn’t even tell.

I peeked through the window, not because I’m nosy (okay maybe just a little), but because my sixth sense—call it Wife Radar—was tingling.

Turns out, she wasn’t asking for sugar.
She was trying to stir the pot.

She complimented his arms, asked him if he “worked out” (he doesn’t), and even reached over to “adjust” a leaf on his shirt… from a very unnecessary angle. That’s when I decided: this woman had clearly mistaken my garden for a soap opera.

I walked out calmly—okay fine, dramatically—with a dish towel in hand like it was a weapon. Gave her my best polite-but-deadly smile.

“Everything alright here?”
She blinked, giggled, and said, “Oh! Just saying hi!”
I nodded. “Perfect. Now you’ve said it—bye.”

She scurried away faster than a cat in the rain.

That night, I told my husband, “Next time she comes over, just spray her with the hose. Accidentally.” He laughed. I didn’t.

Lesson learned:
Sometimes the danger isn’t in far-off places. It lives next door with red lipstick, yoga pants, and a fake laugh.
But don’t worry. I trust my man—and I’ve got better reflexes than she does.